Phi Gamma Delta at Bowling Green State University

Mar 9

Spring Break trip to Cabin: Day Two

Captain’s Log: Day 2

Awakening on day two spelled trouble for the Fiji’s and the S.S. Gamma. First mate Pytel neglected to inform the captain of the Northwest’s time change. Upon discovery of this knowledge from my trustee pocket watch, the crew was forced into a rush to hoist the anchor and be off to our next destination before the 11am deadline. Before departing from the land better known as Canonsburg, PA, we sailed one more pass around the beloved cabin and once again took in the history of where six distinguished gentlemen once met. The men still tired and weiry from the restless trip a day ago were in need of nurishment, so we once again turned to the endless bounty of rations provided to us by the golden arches.

With our bellies now full and nothing but the high seas in front of us we set sail for the port of Carmichaels, PA. Here we sought the comradeship of Ellis Bailey Gregg. Upon arrival in Carmichaels, we were forced once again to seek help from the natives in locating our dear Mr. Gregg. The locals were of little help and once again beared few teeth in these long lost parts of the Northwest. Multiple dockings were required before we had attained the knowledge necessary to efficiently navigate to the port of laurel point where E.B. was to meet us. Once anchor had been dropped and we had made it to the final destination of our journey, we were once again troubled by our map and were forced to rely on our fellow man and gunman L.B. Eddy who spotted the exact meeting place. After many gruling hours at sea we had finally fulfilled all aspects of the mission and it was now time to head back again to our origin in the land of Concord.

But wait, the idea comes from the captain himself. Should we continue on to the land of Wabash, IN in search of our comrade and brother, a man known to many as Nancy? After much calculation and further observance the crew was all set to extend the journey and find another of our fellow Phi Gams. Upon further investigation by first lieutenant J.R. Shelby it was found that the journey would be long, and the waters too trecherous to travel for from the crows nest the first mate spotted a large squaw on the horizon. The imposing argument was brief and the Phi Gams restless, so the decision was made to forgo the lengthened trip for another more befitting day. So the journey back to the land of Concord was now underway.

We hoisted anchor once again to return home. Through the seas of PA, we experienced little adversity and the sailing was smooth but this was soon to change. Upon crossing into Ohio we were once again robbed by those who guard the gated seas, but managed to avoid multiple run ins with these pirates. The sqaw that the first mate had spotted on the horizon was now upon us and the seas became rough. With trouble brewing, the captain went below deck to gather the necessary supplies to endure the beating ahead. While below, the captain placed gunman Eddy at the helm, which triggered a series of events that put the S.S. Gamma and its crew at serious risk of capsizing. With these events in the near future and the first mate still in the crows nest panic set in. The fecies fell like rain from the first mates post high up in the crows nest, he was terrified by the gunmans piloting skills. Soon the gunmans luck would run out, as the fuel on board was at a critical low and the sails could not endure the trecherous winds that were now ripping the ship to bits. This made the next minutes worrysome and troubling for the men as they were miles away from civilization. It proved to be scary and unnecessary as we were able to dock in the port of Newton and pay our last gold coins to some traders at the post. The journey from here was short and easy as the crew was once again in high spirits. We are now back in the land of Concord and will forever cherish the lengths we went to in order to find where and who founded the great fraternity of PHI GAMMA DELTA.

Captain
J.M. Saunders

Mar 8

Spring Break trip to Cabin: Day One

Captain’s Log: Day 1

Before our adventure to uncharted lands could begin we had to christen the slew, we call her the S.S. Gamma. Our journey began in the land of concord, home of our comrade and first leutenant J.R. Shelby. Our first destination, the stomping grounds of the first commander and chief, of what we know today as Phi Gamma Delta. The first hour passed with no squaws but soon the journey would take a serious turn we were thrice robbed by the pirates of gated seas. No more than an hour later we had arrived in the once populated but now deserted lands of Beaver, Pennsylvania. By this time the barrels of whiskey had sunk in and our bladders were all full. We proceeded to the nearest golden arches to relieve some pressure that had been building in the hull. Upon stopping at the golden arches first mate N.J. Pytel spotted from the crows nest the cemetery of Beaver where our immortal friend Samuel Beatty Wilson was to meet us. After the pressure had been released from our hulls we then sailed northward to the shrine of S.B. Wilson that eclipsed the town of Beaver itself. After a short journey through the cemetery we docked the S.S. Gamma beside the chapel and again joined hands with our fellow Phi Gam. Many words were exchanged and portraits drawn before we again parted ways with the man known as the Preceptor.

The journey of rough seas continued in the ghettos of East Liverpool where gunman L.B. Eddy manned his post and readied the cannons for we encountered much more than pirates. Throughout our much longer than enjoyed time in East Liverpool we saw many things that troubled our minds. Some of the most intriging included Big Dick’s body shop, the toothless natives, and the shanties they call home. We then followed the mighty Ohio River in search of our friend and compatriot James Elliott Jr. This journey continued through the badlands and our navigator TomTom lead us down a channel rarely traveled. Soon after finding our way out, we reported to our second destination and lowered the anchors in the port of Wellsville, Ohio. Before meeting with another of our immortal brothers we were forced to stop at the local pub to receive further instructions on the whereabouts of Mr. Elliott. Upon receiving these instructions from a local deck hand we sailed under the half ass directions to the place known as Springhill Cemetery. At this time our navigational system was useless and we were left to the knowledge of our fearless first mate and manner of the crows nest N.J. Pytel he read the tainted map flawlessly and lead us to spot where we found our long lost brother James Elliott Jr.

Late in the day as it was and men restless we made the executive decision to Press On! To the founding place of all Phi Gams we sailed. The southerly path lead us through impressive mountains and valleys of the Northwest. Along the way, first leutenant and I spotted what is known in these lands as the great flocks of wild turkey. We were wimpering at the chance to decapitate these prehistoric creatures. Upon arrival at our final dock of the day we were astonished to be standing on land of such profound significance. There we stood for many moments and took in the great history of Fijiland. We felt at this time it was necessary to replenish with sustance our dreprived bodies with our fellow seaman Long John Silver.

After daylight had come to an end we decided to dock for the night at the port of Super 8 where some well deserved relaxing took place. Later on, we journeyed to a place known as Route 19 Lanes for some late night fun. Here the men in high spirits carried on with great pride. Here the first mate made a foolish wager with the first leutenant against the captains bowling abilities. This choice proved to be fatal to the first mates treasure chest. After many careless throws by gunman Eddy, first mate Pytel felt it necessary to let the gunman know that he should take one of these barrels that we had been knocking down and stick it between his butcheeks and clinch it! Our adventure shall continue in the a.m. after some R&R.

Captain,
J.M. Saunders